365/2014

365/2014, a set on Flickr.

Yep. I'm doing it again. The photo-a-day project. Looking forward to another year filled with photos of our family and our lives.

Love Letter

I like the part of me that's always hungry that always asks whats past what's allotted me that never settles for the rhythm of monotony but holds out for beyond extraordinary the part of me that's wicked and wild with a full toothed smile canines gleaming naked dancing round the fire full moon howling The part of me called witch or bitch or femi-natzi and doesn't give a shit because whatever name you call me just slips past the vastness of my mystery I like the part of me that's been burned and risen from the ashes because forgiveness must be learned and the past is what the past is the part of me that's failed in order to learn compassion the part of me that's fought and refuses to be passive I like all this flawed human glory I like the love starved girl that I used to be that just needed some confirmation "Daddy, aren't you proud of me" or "God" maybe or sometimes even "Society" the part of me that's messy that's still progressing the part I hide from polite company the rough hewn wounds that have made me me and you you behind the curtain we are more powerful because there's nothing to see through let unconditional become the standard we hold each other to Written and performed by Abigail Anderson (Abi Grace) music, news, and more www.foxandphoenixrecords.com

Work it.

Today was fun. My cousin works at a hip / trendy clothing and accessory boutique in Franklin, TN and asked if I would model / photograph a few of outfits for them. So, the two of us asked our other cousin to join us and it became a family event. ;) I hate being in front of the camera - but managed to have a blast with the two of them and my cousin did a great job with the images she captured of me. I only wish we had more time. We captured a ton of shots - but I had so many more ideas in my head. Hopefully we can do this again soon. XO AN

The Voice

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friendOr wise mine can decide
What's right for you - just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.
- Shel Silverstein

 

Today.

I needed this today.

Feeling very torn about something.

Trying to figure out what to do can suck at times.

Especially when time and emotion has been dedicated to the question.

 

I have never been one to ask for advice.

Typically, my heart knows what it wants and I set my path in that direction.

Sure, every once in awhile I will stop and ask for help in making a decision, but those are usually little questions - not the big ones.

 

Those big questions have seemed quite easy for me the past few years.

Things have kind of fallen into place.

And I am truly happy.

 

I adore my life.

I have worked hard for parts of it.

For the parts beyond my control, I have been blessed.

 

This situation -  I don't have control, I have worked hard - but I am not happy with it.

 

This is where I am struggling.

 

I know what I need to do, but it is difficult.

I guess I have listened to that voice - but now I just need to allow it to speak for itself and see where the cards will land.

 

Blah. Being an adult can really be a bummer...

XO AN

 

I miss this place.

I do.
Even after all this time, I think of if often.
The time I took to document and to reflect.
Maybe 2013 will be the year.
I know I have said it in the past...
I'm trying to make more time for me in 2013.
2012 was rough.
SO busy. It was an amazing year - but such a hard one.
It has been 8 years since I started writing here.
Insane.
Feeling very inspired for this year.
I know you can have a fresh start every day - but there is just something about a new year.
If anyone still reads this - hope you all feel the same.
XO AN

Melting.

Recovery has been interesting.
You all know how much I hate sitting still...
Even though my incision has almost healed - I know my body is trying to get used to the fact that I am missing organs (so weird when you really start thinking about it).

I have felt drained and really depressed - which is so foreign.
I have watched more TV since having the surgery, than I have probably watched in the past 3 years combined.
Being thrown into menopause has SUCKED.
Seriously ladies, be prepared.
Hot flashes like you won't believe.
So hard to explain how they feel, but they don't feel good - unless you enjoy sweating (which I never used to do).
I'm typically a very deep sleeper, and waking up 3-5 times each night until I cool down is no fun.

Just trying to get through this part of my life.
Trying to keep on a happy face - while trying to keep up with the crazy schedule I have.

I know it will come with time.
Until then - you will find me stripping off layers of clothing, bitching about melting, and making this face while doing it -

Sexy huh?
(Thank you pinterest for providing me with much needed laughter upon finding this photograph.)
:)
XO AN

website.

It is finally done!
www.ourcoffeepot.com
Yipppeee!

pathetic.

Bored. Did hair and make-up for fun today...really amber? Must get out of this house...

still.

center.

the past few days...

Our life. Love it.